


Sunshine On A Rainy Day

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, Ethan Gold Bashing, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Points of View, Romance, Sequel, Unsafe Sex, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-19
Updated: 2006-03-05
Packaged: 2018-12-26 18:13:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian and Justin Finally meet! Except this is a sort of role reversal. Justin is 24 and the king of Liberty Avenue and Brian is 17, but he doesn't take any crap. This is the sequel to Diary Of A Tormented Soul. This is written in Brian's POV.





	1. A Fateful Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

“Oh my God Brian, this is it, this is Babylon” Michael says as we stare at the club and all the interesting characters coming out of it.  
“So are you going to come in with me?” I ask knowing what my answer will be.  
“One we can’t cause we are too young and two I’m staying at Ben’s house remember and I told my mom I’m staying at yours” Michael answers me and I sigh.  
“That’s fine for you but I have a fake ID and I plan on livening up the Friday night” I smirk at him.  
“Ok call me if anything happens, I want all the details” Michael laughs as he sees Ben’s car pull up and runs over to it.  
“By Mikey” I smile as I turn to face Babylon. After only just getting past the security guard I find myself walking around on of the best clubs I have ever seen in my life.  
“Well hey there gorgeous” I tall thin flamboyant brunette says to me.  
“Hi” I say as I try to think of what to say next.  
“Teddy look at this little gorgeous thing that walked into the door, my names Emmett and this is Ted” The flamboyant man introduces me to his seemingly dull friend.  
“Oh hey” The man says with very little interest.  
“Nice to meet you both, I’m Brian” I say with a little hesitation.  
“Oh god would you look at that, he just got another one” Ted says as he point to a blonde guy on the dance floor.  
“What can we say honey, he irresistible” Emmett shrugs.  
“What’s so great about him?” I ask as I look at the blonde.  
“Well you’re definitely not from around here” Ted jokes as he looks at me.  
“What he means honey is that Justin Taylor is famous on Liberty, cute ass, great smile, he can have anything he wants” Emmett smiled.  
“He can’t have anyone” I say to contradict them.  
“Oh really, I bet he could get anyone you pointed out in this club” Ted says as he points around the club.  
“Well he couldn’t have me, I don’t like people that think they are better than me” I say as I turn round to the bar.  
“I’ll drink to that honey, anyway a sweet thing like you doesn’t want Justin, he just fucks, no strings, no relationships, Justin Taylor doesn’t do love” Emmett smiled and I feel like telling him that I don’t do love either, after Ethan I’d rather not. “Come on sweetie, let’s dance” Emmett says as he drags me down the stairs to the dance floor. I let the music flow through me and I find myself having a great time.  
“You’re a great dancer Emmett” I say when the music goes a little quieter.  
“Why thank you sweetie, do you want a drink?” Emmett asks me.  
“That would be great, I’m so thirsty” I say as I follow Emmett upstairs to the bar.  
“Two beers please” Emmett asks the bartender as he very unsubtly flirts with him.  
“Well you decided to join us, what happened you decide you need some more eloquent company from your tricks.  
“Actually boys I was just thirsty, I’ll have a beer” I turn around to see the blonde looking at me.  
“Emmett have you found yourself a new twink” He says looking me over.  
“I’m not a twink” I say firmly.  
“Oh he talks, whatever you say sweetheart” The blonde laughs.  
“Justin his name is Brian” Emmett says.  
“Not like I really give a fuck” Justin says as he takes a sip of his beer never taking his eye off me.  
“Of course not, now could you please stop eyeing me over” I say as his arrogance makes me sick. Justin leans in and whispers in my ear.  
“You should be so lucky” Justin grins at me.  
“No you should be so lucky to have me, well this is one tight little ass that you aien’t getting” I say as I start to move across the room and end up dancing with some guy. I slowly slip to the edge of the dance floor and rest, my body feels really tired and my heart is pounding.  
“What’s the matter Hon?” A drag queen asks as she stops in front of me.  
“I feel a little bit sick” I admit as I rub my stomach.  
“He can’t hold his alcohol yet” A voice calls over to me.  
“Fuck you” I mean to yell that except it comes out a lot quieter and more muffled than I first expected.  
“What was that?” I see Justin come in closer. The room is starting to go blurry and I feel dizzy.  
“I said Fu…” I fall to my knees then feel my face hit the floor.

***  
“Oh I think he’s waking up” I hear a voice but it’s too bright in the room to know whose voice it is.  
“Thank God now can we go home, this little twink has cost me valuable fucking time” That voice stands out loud and clear.  
“Fuck You” I mutter as I sit up and look around.  
“That’s how he thanks us” Justin laughs.  
“Where the fuck am I?” I say as I try to gage my surroundings.  
“Your in the hospital sweetie, you passed out, you must have taken some hell of a drug” Emmett smiles.  
“I didn’t take any drugs” I say as I start to relax now that I am remembering the night.  
“Spoken like a true Drug addict” Justin smirks at me. I look up when I see a doctor come in the room.  
“Mr Kinney, we did a full scan of you stomach contents and came back with this drug” He hand me a sheet of paper.  
“So someone slipped me a roofie?” I ask.  
“Yes, did you put your drink down at anytime or talk to anyone suspicious?” The doctor asks.  
“Not that I know of, can I go home, I feel fine” I want to get out of there as quickly as possible.  
“Yes, but I would prefer if someone took you home, I can call your parents” The doctor says.  
“No, my friends will give me a lift home, right guys?” I plead with the saddest look possible with Emmett to say yes.  
“Of course, it’s our pleasure” Emmett says as chirpy as ever.  
“See I’m all set” I say to convince the doctor.  
“Ok Mr Kinney, when your done getting dressed you can fill out some forms and then you can go” I nod my head and go to the bathroom to get changed. When I come out Emmett, Ted and Justin are waiting for me. We head down the hallway and I fill out the necessary forms and then head out of the hospital. When we walk outside it is pouring with rain.  
“Don’t you just love the whether in Pittsburgh” Justin smirks.  
“So where are we taking you sweetie?” Emmett asks me.  
“Oh no where, I just said that so I didn’t have to stay in that hospital any longer, thanks for saying you would though” I say as I zip up my jacket and start making my way down the street. I walk for a while and then sit in a bus shelter, the wind is icy and the roofie is still taking effect on my body. A black Jeep pulls up in front of me and I can’t quiet make out who gets out of it.  
“Brett get in the car, if you don’t I have to put up with Emmett’s whining all night about the poor kid” I see Justin say as he takes shelter with me.  
“Excuse me?” I ask as I find him really rude not even remembering my name and suddenly he wants me to go with him.  
“I said get in the car” Justin says indignantly.  
“My name is Brian not Brett and secondly, I’m not some little kid that needs you protection, so leave me alone” I let the words flow out of my mouth and suddenly that same feeling come over me and I see everything go black, I know someone is holding me but I am oblivious to who.

***  
I wake up and look around and I am in this really nice apartment and suddenly it hits me.  
“Oh Shit” I mutter as my head aches.  
“So your up” A familiar voice says to me.  
“Oh god” It couldn’t be.  
“What?” Justin asks.  
“We didn’t do anything did we?” I wince at the thought of Justin’s arrogance.  
“No, I had better things to do, but since Emmett is having his place fumigates and staying with his aunt he made me take you home” Justin sighs as he grabs himself a cup of coffee.  
“Well uh, thanks Justin, you didn’t have to do this and I guess I was a little wrong about you” I say as I must humble myself to him.  
“Well you were pretty fucked up and I am really an asshole so you don’t have to worry about changing your mind now” He smirks as he takes a sip of his coffee.  
“Oh I know you’re a self conceded asshole, I said I was a little bit wrong about you the rest I knew” I joke and he smiles a little at me.  
“Your clothes were all wet so I hung them up to dry, they should be dry by now” He says as he walks back into his bedroom. I stand up and wrap the blanket around me. I walk over to a window and see a painting, it’s only half finished but the use of colour and texture is amazing. I find I can’t pull my eyes away from it. Justin walks out of his bedroom and sees me staring at the painting.  
“It’s beautiful, did you paint this?” I ask as I see a different side of him coming out.  
“Yeah, it was time ago” Justin admits and I can tell that there is something more to the story.  
“Why did you never finish it?” I ask as I am intrigued.  
“I just didn’t know how, I started working for a big firm, doing graphical design and I just didn’t touch it again” Justin bites his bottom lip.  
“Sounds like my mom, she was this brilliant pianist and then something happened and now she refuses to play, she just says that she doesn’t want to play music unless she can play beautiful music, maybe you’re a bit the same” I shrug and notices that Justin is walking closer to me.  
“What happened to your mother that made her stop” Justin asked as he seductively walks over to me.  
“Someone broke her hands, shattered the bones inside them, they never really healed, she still gets pains in them” I sigh and look at the ground.  
“Why the fuck did your mother owe someone money” Justin jokes.  
“No, I should go” I say as I grab my clothes and slip them on.  
“Hey I’m sorry to hear about your mother” Justin says as I slide open the door to the apartment.  
“Thanks, I guess I’ll see you around” I slide the door shut behind me and I feel like I want to run back inside and jump into Justin’s arm and at the same time I am degusted he saw me half naked. I hate these fucking hormones anymore of these and I’ll turn into a lesbo. My cell phone vibrating in my pocket brings me out of my thoughts. I take it out to answer it.  
“Hello”  
“Hey Bri, so how was last night?” Michael asks me happily and I can tell that Ben is tickling him.  
“Oh Mikey, you have no idea” I say as I start to walk down the stairs.


	2. An Unexpected Saviour

“Hey sweetie how was Michael’s?” My mom winks and me and for some reason I think she knows more.  
“Ok, you know how Deb can get, she’s always trying to force feed me” I joke as I pick up an apple and take a bite.  
“Yeah I know what you mean” She stops what she is doing and looks at me “Ethan came by last night” She sighs.  
“What the fuck did he want?” I ask as I hate the thought of him coming around.  
“He said he wanted to check up on you, I guess he feels guilty for what happened” I know what she’s talking about, how could I forget. After Ethan and I broke up we moved to New York for a while and that’s where it happened.

Flashback  
“Hey they’re sexy, want to come home with me?” I muscular tanned man asks me.  
“I’m not coming home with you” I reply with disgust as I finish with my trick for the evening.  
“Hey you don’t turn me down” The man says grabbing my arm.  
“I believe I just did” I say as I push him away and head out of the club. I’m walking to my car when suddenly two men grab me and pull me into an ally.  
“I said no one turns me down” The familiar voice whispers as he pins me up against a wall and his friend takes off my pants. I struggle to get free but I can’t overpower both of them. He turns me around so I am facing the wall and without warning pushes into me. I let of a scream as the pain is too intense. He pounds me into the wall and I begin to cry, as every push seems to just make my body numb. When he done with me he just lets go and I fall to the floor sobbing.  
“Fuck you” I whisper under my breath.  
“You know kid your not half bad, call me” he jokes as he walks away. I pull up my pants and head for my car.

Present  
“Bri, Brian honey are you ok?”  
“Huh?” I ask as I am brought back to reality.  
“Did you start to remember it again?” My mom asks as she light rubs my back.  
“Yeah, I guess sometimes it still affects me” I say as I try to shrug it off.  
“I told Ethan that you were doing fine but he insisted he comes back over tonight to see you”.  
“Oh great, just what I need, to be treated like a scared little kid, I get enough of that from dad half the time” I smile at my mom and hug her, she means a lot to me cause she has spent her entire life worrying about me and trying to protect me as best she could.  
“Well I thought that since it is a Saturday you might like to go out with the boys and I can cover for you, your dads got a meeting in New York and he’s not coming back till Monday night” And that’s the other thing I love about mom, she is just as outgoing and rebellious as I am, kindred spirits.  
“Thanks mom, that sounds great” I smile as she has lightened up my day.  
“Why don’t you go take a shower, we have your therapy this afternoon, that is if you feel like going?” She asks and I just nod. I walk up stairs to the bathroom. I begin removing my clothes and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and it makes me shudder. The scars are healed but to me they still seem to stand out. I turn on the water to the hottest temperature my skin will take and close the shower door behind me.

Flashback  
It’s raining down so hard that by the time I get to my car I am soaked. I can’t tell if it is shock or the fact I am freezing cold that I am shaking so much. I finally manage to get the key in the ignition. I can barely see the tears flowing from my eyes are making it so blurry, but I just want to go home, I need to get home. I start the car and start driving, I don’t care how fast I am going, I have to get there. I hear my phone start ringing and I pick it up but I don’t say anything.  
“Hello, Brian are you there?” I hear Lindsay’s voice through the phone. “Bri are you crying, what’s wrong, tell me?” Lindsay insists.  
“I, I was..” I gasp for air and I feel a huge explosion around me.  
“Brian what just happened, it sounded like a car crash, Bri answer me” Lindsay is frantic as I sit there in the no longer moving car.  
“Raped” I whisper as I hang up the phone. I can see people rushing over to see me, they are saying something but I can’t make out what it is.

Present  
“Bri you better hurry, we have to leave for you appointment in an ten minutes” Mom says as she knocks on the door.  
“Fuck” I mutter to myself, I can’t stop remembering that night. I get out of the shower and get dressed and then walk down stairs to where my mom is.  
“Ready to go honey?” She asks.  
“Yeah” I say as we walk out to the car. The car ride seems short and when we get there we walk right in.  
“Mr Kinney, you’re right in time for your appointment, come through” The doctor says as he leads me to the examination room.  
“Hey Doc?” I say as I sit on the chair next to his desk.  
“I have some tests for you today Brian” The doctor tells me as he opens his door and two girls walk in.  
“Remember you met the nurses here Brian” He says as he points to the two girls.  
“Yes” I answer as I stare at them.  
“Well I know that you know Janet and Louise so I want you to shake hands with Janet” He says as he sits in his chair and confirms for me to go. Neither one of the girls says anything or makes out who they are. I don’t know which one it is so I just guess.  
“Brian” The woman says to me and I know who the girl is now.  
“Oh sorry Louise”.  
“That’s fine, if that’s all Doctor Carlson then we should be getting back to work” Louise says and the doctor nods.  
“Well I think we have established that you are using your memory to remember peoples voices” The Doctor sighs.  
“Well how else am I supposed to know who they are, it’s not like my fucking brain works properly” I hiss at his comment.  
“Do you remember what it was like when you first came out of the coma?” He asks and I sit down and bury my head in my hands.

Flashback  
My eye flicker and I when I finally open my eyes I’m in a hospital room. There is a woman sitting next to my bed sleeping in the chair. I stare at her and even though she seems familiar I don’t know who she is. The door opens to the room and I pretend I’m still asleep to find out if I know this person. It’s a tall tanned man, he walks over to the woman sleeping and wakes her.  
“Honey here I brought you some coffee” That voice, it can’t be. I try to think back and suddenly I can’t remember. I sit up in the bed and they begin to hug me when they have seen I am awake. I pull away from them, I have no idea who these people are.  
“Brian what’s wrong” The man asks and his voice sounds familiar.  
“Dad?” I ask, but I’m not sure.

Present  
“Brian did you hear me, I asked you if you remembered” The doctor says as he brings me back to reality. I look at him and shake my head, not cause I don’t remember but because I don’t want to remember.  
“I can’t” I roll my lips inside my mouth.  
“Well let’s work on your processing skills then” The doctor holds up a box and we go through the usual therapy.

***  
“Ok mom I’m going to meet Mikey, and I’ll probably stay at his place tonight so don’t wait up” I say as I head out the door giving mom a kiss.  
“Ok sweetie, have fun and be careful” She smiles. I walk out the door to my car and head over to Michael’s house. When I get there I knock on the door and Debbie answers.  
“Hey baby” She says as she pull me in for a bear hug.  
“Hey Deb, how are you?” I ask as Debbie is like a second mom to me so our families are pretty close.  
“Hey Bri” Michael says as he comes running down the stairs.  
“Hi Mikey”.  
“Mom were going down to the mall, do you want anything?” Michael asks and I know that Debbie will answer with the same answer she always gives.  
“Just what I deserve” We all say and Debbie gives up both little smack on the butt and then kisses us goodbye. We drive to the mall and Michael keeps telling me about how Ben’s is the love of his life and I keep doing the puking face.  
“Hey Bri” Michael says to get my attention when I finished parking the car.  
“Yeah” I say as we get out and start walking inside.  
“Do you remember me, like I mean everything that happened before the accident” He asks me and I stop walking for a second.  
“I remember you Mikey, I remember everything” I say and he hugs me.  
“I’m glad cause I was getting worried that I would say something one day and you would just think I am weird” He laughs.  
“No need to worry about that, I already think you are weird” I do my young in cheek expression and he nudges me in the ribs. We walk into a store and start looking around, the guy working in there keeps looking at me whenever I walk past him.  
“I think he likes you” Michael whispers in my ear.  
“Well hello, are you just going to ignore me?” The man asks, I know that flamboyant voice.  
“Emmett?” I ask.  
“Well who else is this fashionable in Liberty” Emmett jokes.  
“It’s good you dress different, I have a hard enough time figuring out where I am lately, let alone who everyone else is” I smile. Mikey and I both laugh but Emmett just looks at us confused.  
“Sorry it’s just this joke we have going around” Michael says to try to make us seem normal.  
“Oh Emmett this is Michael, Michael this is Emmett” I do the introductions.  
“Nice to meet you sweetie” Emmett smiles.  
“So you work here huh?” I ask as I look around the store.  
“Certainly do, I’m a retail queen” Emmett jokes “Are you too coming to Woody’s tonight?” Emmett asks.  
“I’m meeting my boyfriend for dinner” Michael says to excuse himself.  
“Well what about you honey?” Emmett asks directing the question at me.  
“I’d love too” I say as I look at my watch.  
“Well I am off in 10 minutes so if you wait for me to close the store we can go together” Emmett says as he puts an arm around me.  
“That sounds good, can we drop Michael off on our way?” I ask.  
“Sure sweetie” Emmett says as he gets back to closing.

***  
We are sitting at the bar when I guy come and sits next to me. He just looks me over and I try to ignore him but I can’t.  
“Can I help you?” I ask rather rudely.  
“Well that depends” He laughs.  
“Oh sorry Justin, I didn’t realise it was you” I say quietly.  
“You must have been fucked up last night if you don’t remember” Justin laughs and takes a sip of his drink. Emmett and Ted are talking to some guy in the corner and I’m left alone with Justin at the bar.  
“Yeah” I agree even though it’s not the reason.  
“Hey there stud” I guy says as he talks to Justin.  
“Not interested” Justin mouths to him and about five other guys.  
“How about you?” The guy asks me.  
“I’m a top” I say to him as I can see his intentions for my ass.  
“Sure you are, you just haven’t met the right guy to submit to” He laughs as he grabs my arm. I suddenly see flashes of the night I was raped and I pull away.  
“Leave me alone” I cringe as the man tries to touch me again.  
“Hey I just…” Justin cut the man short.  
“He said leave me alone, so fuck off” Justin defends me and I find myself even more indebted to him than before. I don’t even notice it but there are tears running down my face and I am shaking.  
“Thanks” I manage to get out.  
“Are you ok?” Justin asks me as he rubs my back. I’m kind of shocked that I am so relax around him that I allow him to touch me.  
“I will be” I whisper. He is about to say something else when suddenly there is a loud commotion.  
“Come on everyone, Gay As Blazes is about to start” I loud roar comes from everyone in Woody’s and for some reason someone starts taking photos.

Flashback  
I see this bright flashing. I don’t know what it is but it draws me to stay away. I move my head slightly and then I hear something.  
“Holy shit he’s alive, get him out, get him the fuck out of there” It sounds like a man, but everything is so warped I can barely tell.

Present  
“Brian are you ok?” Justin asks me again.  
“I need to get out of here” I admit as I stand up and make my way out. It’s so crowded now that there are people everywhere. I try to push my way out but the occasional person who wants a fuck stops me. I fall to my knees and huddle my body together and cry.  
“Brian” I hear someone call my name but I don’t bother to see who it is. Next thing I know I am being carried out of Woody’s. When we are outside I see who my rescuer is.  
“Justin” I say a little confused at how this guy keeps coming to my aid.  
“What happened back there?” He asks confused.  
“I have a problem with people touching me, it’s a long story” I sigh.  
“Come on I’ll take you home” Justin says as he leads me over to the Jeep.  
“I don’t want to go home” I admit as this is one of the few times that I go out.  
“Do you want to come home with me?” He asks. I don’t even think I just nod, maybe Justin is just what I need.


	3. To Be Touched Again

  
Author's notes: Brian lets Justin know a little more about himself and that leads to a passionate night! Please let me know what you think is wrong with Brian, it will unfold soon but I am dying to know what your guesses are.  


* * *

We pull up outside Justin’s block of apartments and head upstairs. We haven’t really said anything since we left Woody’s. He must think I have lost my mind breaking down like that.  
“Here we are” Justin says to me as he slides open the door.  
“I know I’ve been here before, but last time I don’t think that I said how nice this place is” I say as I try to think of conversation.  
“I like to surround myself with good things” Justin smiled as he slides the door closed.  
“Look I just want to stay thank you, I mean you probably think that I am a total nutcase..” Justin puts his finger over my lip to silence me.  
“You don’t have to say anything, I know there is a reason that you freaked out back there, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to” Justin smiles at me and I can’t believe how different he is when he’s alone with me.  
“Well your one of the first to just accept it, I mean, my friend Lindsay wanted to take me to a nut house the first time we went out after..” I stop, I don’t think I want to say anymore.  
“Do you something to drink?” Justin asks me as he opens the fridge. I shake my head and sit down on his couch. Justin comes and sits next to me.  
“So have you ever had anything happen to you?” I ask as there must be a reason he is so supportive.  
“Yeah, about six years ago” He says as he takes a sip of his beer.  
“Do you mind me asking what?” He shakes his head and leans back. He closes his eyes and I can tell he is imagining what happened.  
“It was the night of my Senior Prom, I went to there with my boyfriend at the time. We ended up dancing and then kissing in front of everyone and after that we walked out to the car to go home” Justin pauses and I see a tear role down his face “My boyfriend got in the car and as I walked round to the other side I heard him yell my name. When I turned all I saw was the Baseball bat Chris Hobbs was swinging at me” Justin takes another sip of his beer.  
“Oh my god that’s horrible, how could anyone do that” I ask, but then again I know the answer.  
“I was in a coma for a week, when I woke up I couldn’t move my hand, the brain damage made me lose control of it, that’s why I stopped painting. But it’s fine now, I just never got back into my art” Justin shrugs.  
“Homophobic Asshole!” I mutter as I think about the person that did that to Justin.  
“Well how about you?” Justin asks, I look at him hesitantly but for some reason I want to tell him more.  
“I was sixteen, I just broke up with my boyfriend and we moved back to New York for a while to get away. I went to this club one night and this guy starts hitting on me, asking me to come home with him. I blew the guy off and walked out of the club to drive home when two guys grabbed me, one of them was the one I blew off and the other was his friend. One held me down while the other raped me” I whisper the last part, I can’t help but feel ashamed.  
“I’m sorry to hear that, is that why you are afraid to be touched sometimes?” Justin asks me and I nod.  
“Well that and what else happened that night, after it happened I got my car and tried to drive home, I was crying so much that I didn’t see the truck pull out in front of me. They tell me I was in a coma for two weeks and now I’m just stuffed up in the head” I joke with the last bit.  
“Well it’s good you haven’t got any injuries” Justin said to comfort me.  
“Yeah just heaps of scars and..” I pause and think about what I am going to say “Sometimes I forget things” I lie, but I don’t want Justin to tell anybody what’s wrong with me.  
“You can stay here tonight, I’ll get a blanket and pillow and you can sleep on the couch” Justin says as he gets up.  
“Justin” He turns to look at me “Thanks” I smile and he just nods.

***  
I am woken by a noise. I look up and see it is 4 am. I get up to see if I can find what is going on, when I see Justin tossing in bed muttering something. I walk over to him and try to settle him, he is really struggling then finally he stops and pulls me into his embrace. I warm to his touch and find myself drifting to sleep when I notice he’s waked up.  
“Why are you..” I don’t let him finish his sentence.  
“You were having a nightmare” I whisper gently.  
“Oh” Justin bit him bottom lip.  
“Were you dreaming about the night of your Prom?” I ask but I don’t know if I should have.  
“Yeah, whenever I think about it I usually end up getting nightmares” Justin says as he rubs his face.  
“Did they put that guy away for bashing you?” I ask.  
“He only got Community Service” Justin looks at me and I know from his face he is going to ask me something big “Did they ever get the guy that raped you?” He asks. I just shake my head. “Why not?”.  
“I couldn’t remember his face, that’s mainly the reason I get scared by people, cause I can’t remember if he is them, that’s why I don’t usually let people touch me” I sigh. Justin wraps his arms around me.  
“You let me touch you” He smiles.  
“I like it when you touch me, it reminds me I’m alive” I realise what I am saying and look down at my hands to hide my embarrassment.  
“I like it when I touch you as well” Justin smiles as runs his hands through my hair. I have missed this kind of contact for so long but I just haven’t been able to get close enough to anyone to do it.  
“Justin I want you” I whisper softly, hoping desperately that I won’t be rejected in my hour of need.  
“Are you sure?” He asks me in a husky voice.  
“I need you inside me” I moan as he kisses me, I let my body relax in his arms. I can feel my cock is like iron and is dying for attention. Justin climbs out from underneath me and grabs a condom and some lube. He kisses down my body and make me shiver ever so slightly to his touch.  
“Your so beautiful” He whispers as his warm breath hits my neck. He rolls the condom onto his hard throbbing member and then puts some lube on his fingers. He pushes one of his fingers into me and I groan at the sensation, then he slowly adds another two. I moan as he opened me up and at the same time I am a little scared of his huge cock entering me.  
“Justin it’s been a while” I mutter. He leans down and kisses me.  
“I’ll take care of you baby” He whispers as he kisses my chest and nipples, just the sound of him calling me baby makes my cock jump. He lifts up my legs so they are on his shoulders and positions his cock at my entrance. He slowly pushes in the head of his cock inside me.  
“Oh” I gasp as a sharp pain hits me.  
“Just relax, breathe Bri” He says as he gently strokes my thigh. I take a few deep breaths and squeeze my eyes closed, suddenly I see flashes of when I was being raped. I struggle a little because of the horrible images in my head.  
“No stop!!!” I scream.  
“Brian open your eyes, it’s me Justin” I slowly open my eyes and see Justin staring at me with concerned deep blue eyes. “Listen to me, just keep looking at me ok, I’m going to make sure that this is good for you” Justin says as he begins to bury his cock inside me. I try to ignore the pain and concentrate on how beautiful he is. He keeps running his hands all over my body as he slowly pumps into me.  
“Oh yes, fuck me Justin, I want you to fuck me hard” I moan as the pleasure is almost killing me. Justin picks up the pace, pounding hard in and out of me.  
“Fuck Bri you’re so tight” Justin grunts.  
“I need to cum, make me cum” I scream with ecstasy. Justin starts pumping even hard and he manages to hit my prostate make in go wildly into an orgasm, splashing my cum over the both of us.  
“Oh god baby” Justin moans as he shoots his load into the condom. Justin lies on top of me for a while then slowly pulls out of me and gets off the bed.  
“That was amazing, where are you going?” I ask as he starts to leave the room.  
“I’m going to have a shower and you are going to…” Justin pauses and I have a feeling I am about to hear that line that everyone has told me so much about ‘you are going to get the fuck out’ when he looks at me and something in his face changes “Your going to have a shower with me” Justin smiles and leaves the room. I jump off the bed and follow Justin to the bathroom, even if this is the only night that Justin will let me stay, I still want him.


	4. A Taylor's Son

I wake up and find myself enveloped in Justin’s arm. I snuggle down into the embrace, enjoying it while it lasts. I hear the phone start ringing and I think about waking Justin but he is so tired he’s the load ringing doesn’t even wake him. I try to ignore the phone but then the answering machines starts recording and I loud scream comes out waking up Justin.  
“Justin you better get that big butt of yours down here, Daphne has just gone into labour, she’s about to have your baby” The woman screams through the phone and then hangs up.  
“Oh shit” Justin jumps off the bed and starts getting dressed. I start putting on my closes as well. While Justin is in the bathroom I figure I will sneak out, he obviously has a lot better things to do today than look after me. I still don’t know if I heard that message right, is Justin really going to be a father. I am nearly at the door when Justin comes out of the bathroom.  
“I was just…” Justin cuts me off.  
“No time lets go, we’ll call Emmett on the way” Justin says as he runs down the stairs of the apartment block with me. I don’t really know what’s happening, why is he taking me with him. The next thing I know we are running down the hospital hallway to find this room when we suddenly come to a stop. The room is crowded with women and there is a young black girl with curly hair sitting in a hospital bed holding her baby.  
“You made it” She smiles with joy.  
“Of course I did, you think that my kids first impressions will all be of lesbos” Justin smirks as he walks through the room.  
“This is your son, do you want to hold him?” The woman asks Justin as she holds up the baby. Justin nods and takes his son.  
“What are you going to call him?” One of the women asks.  
“What do you think daddy?” The woman asks looking at Justin.  
“I want to call him Stewart, after my father” The woman sitting the chair next to the bed jumps in to the conversation.  
“I think that’s very nice and traditional, but I want more of an exotic name, something different” The mother smiles.  
“Well Daph, my son is definitely not a Stewart, are you?” Justin says as he plays with his new son.  
“Maybe I can help then” I say and suddenly everyone seems to become aware to my presence.  
“God Justin, don’t tell me you brought a trick with you to see your newborn son” The woman in the chair scorns.  
“He’s not a trick” Justin says as he goes back to playing with his son.  
“My name is Brian” I mutter and can tell I am being watched.  
“It’s nice to meet you Brian, my name is Daphne and this is my wife, Melanie” The mother tells me sweetly.  
“It’s nice to meet you both and congratulations on you newborn” I try to be as polite as ever to win over the lesbians’.  
“Thank you, now how is it that you thought you could help?” Daphne asks me.  
“Well it may sound weird but describe your thought of your sons to me” Daphne and Melanie look at each other a bit confused.  
“How about wrinkly and gross” Melanie jokes.  
“I thought he was the image of his father” Daphne smiles and holds Justin’s hand, much to Melanie’s discomfort.  
“Toshi” I say as a suggestion.  
“What?” Melanie asks.  
“Toshi, it mean ‘mirror image’ in Japanese” I say shyly.  
“I like it” Justin smiles.  
“So do I” Daphne agrees.  
“Toshi” Justin says as he holds his son close “That’s your name” Justin smiles.  
“Do I get a say in this?” Melanie whines.  
“Sorry biological parents have made their decision” Justin mocks.  
“Please Mel, I really like the name” Daphne pleads with her wife.  
“Oh ok” Melanie gives into Daphne’s charm and I can’t help but smile at the couple.  
“Did I miss anything” Emmett says as he walks in the room.  
“Only a two hour birth and the naming of our baby boy” Melanie jokes.  
“Oh my goodness a boy, well make room ladies the baby’s fairy godfather is coming through” Emmett jokes as he pushes his way through the women to where Justin is standing with Toshi.

***  
I walk out of the room and sit down on one of the hard plastic chairs. I pull my head into my hands and take a few deep breaths. Justin walks out of the room and pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.  
“Fuck I need a smoke” He starts to walk down the hallway and stops “Are you coming?” He asks. I get up and follow him, I think I could do with a smoke.  
“So you’re a dad” I say as he lights two cigarettes and hands one to me.  
“Don’t remind me, I hope that thing doesn’t start calling me daddy, I mean Daph and Mel are going to raise him” Justin says as he takes a drag.  
“Must be pretty amazing though, holding that little life in your hands” I sigh.  
“Your not getting fucking emotional on me, are you?” He jokes.  
“No” I brush off his question.  
“Why didn’t you hold him, if you like kids so much?” Justin asks me and I try to shrug off his question.  
“Well Daphne and Melanie don’t know me, they probably wouldn’t want me touching their kid” I say as an excuse.  
“Actually I think they really liked you and it’s my kid as well so why didn’t you?” I can tell Justin wants to know more.  
“You’re going to think that I am an even bigger nutcase than before but, I don’t like holding other peoples babies cause I get jealous ok” I say in a huff and Justin starts laughing.  
“So you’re a breeder huh” Justin mocks.  
“Not anymore” I say as I walk away. Justin laughter hurt me to listen to.  
“Wait” Justin says as he stops me “What do you mean not anymore, you got six kids at home or something?” Justin asks seriously.  
“No, but when I had the accident I was…” I stop and think about what I am about to say “It doesn’t matter”.  
“Tell me” Justin says as he holds me.  
“No one else knew, but I was pregnant and I lost it, I guess it was for the best, I was only sixteen” I put on a little smile. Justin hugs me close to him.  
“Be thankful you are alive kid” Justin says and I smile.  
“Thanks Justin” I say.  
“Justin, I heard the news where is my grandchild?” I tall blonde woman says as she walks up to us.  
“Hey mom, come on I’ll take you up” Justin says as he starts leading his mother inside “Are you coming?” He asks as he turns to see me. I shake my head.  
“I’ll see you later ok” I call out.  
“Later” Justin says as his mother starts dragging him in so she can see her new grandson.

***  
“Oh my god I can’t wait for school to be over, I can’t stand it anymore” Michael whines as we walk into our first class”  
“You just want to go to college so you can see Ben more” I joke.  
“So what if I do, oh and guess what, Ben’s going to take us in a limo for the Senior Prom” Michael says really excited as we take our seats up the back.  
“And who exactly is we?” I ask with interest.  
“Lindsay, Jackie Lindsay’s date, you, whoever you chose to bring and me” Michael goes through the list.  
“I don’t even think I am going” I say with disinterest.  
“Not going to what?” Lindsay asks as she sits next to me.  
“The Prom” I say as if it is nothing.  
“Bri this is like one of the most important events of our lives, how the fuck can you not go” Michael says with emphasis.  
“Yeah Bri, you don’t want to regret it for the rest of your life” Lindsay agrees.  
“Ok everyone quiet please” The teacher says and everyone goes quiet, and for the first time I am glad I am hearing the teachers voice and not that of my friends.


	5. North Allegheny High School Senior Prom

Two days to Brian’s Senior Prom  
It’s the last lesson of the day and it is dragging on. Everyone can’t stop talking about the stupid Prom, Michael is making me go, he thinks I’ll regret it if I don’t. I have to find a date and there is one person I want to ask but I know he won’t, I just can’t stop thinking about Justin, and it’s driving me crazy. The bell rings and it is like music to my ears, I pack up my books as fast as I can and head out to my car. I throw my bag in the back of the car and decide to drive to the Diner so I can get something to eat before I head home. I park just outside the Diner and jump out of my car.  
“Hey there Bri” Ethan surprises me.  
“Oh hi” I mutter.  
“Where have you been, I’ve been trying to see you for about two weeks and every time I go to your house your not there” Ethan is so protective of me, but he has no rights to me and I hate the fact he thinks he does.  
“Does it matter Ethan?” I ask dryly.  
“No, but you know I worry about you sometimes, I like to check up on you and see how you are going cause I love you” Ethan tries to touch my arm and I pull away.  
“Leave me alone Ethan, you know we will never be together, not after what you did” I shout and in doing so I draw attention to myself.  
“But Bri..” I stop Ethan from saying another word.  
“Don’t ever touch me” I say coldly.  
“Brian you need to learn to get over this, it’s not healthy to not let people touch you” Ethan starts and I feel myself backing away from him.  
“He said leave him alone, that means fuck off” A voice says from behind me.  
“Don’t tell me what to do Taylor, you don’t even know him” Ethan shouts at Justin.  
“Oh but he does know me Ethan, I let fuck me, over and over and I loved it” I rub it in Ethan’s face the fact the Justin was great in bed.  
“Brian are you crazy, this guy will only fuck with you, you deserve better than him” Ethan seems to think he is an angel.  
“What someone like you, no Ethan you’re not good enough for me, Justin is twice the man you’ll ever be” I hiss as I walk into the Diner with Justin following me.  
“So you love it when I fuck you huh?” Justin says with raised eyebrows.  
“Yeah, but I guess since Justin Taylor doesn’t do seconds I should just put it out of my head” I smile at Justin cause even though he plays it cool around his friends I know I mean more to him than all the others.  
“Well maybe I could make an exception for you” Justin smirks at me.  
“Oh really” I smile mischievously “What do you have in mind?”.  
“Well what do you say we don’t eat here and I can take you back to my place and give you something high in protein instead” Justin says as he takes my hand and leads me out to his Jeep.

***  
After about three rounds of hot sweaty sex, Justin and I lay on the bed next to each other in comfortable silence, well that is until I blurt out what has been on my mind all day.  
“Jus” I whisper gently to get his attention.  
“Yeah” He says as he takes a drag of his cigarette.  
“I was wondering, it’s my Senior Prom in Wednesday night and I don’t have a date yet…” Justin stops me.  
“I don’t do dates and I definitely don’t do Proms” Justin says coldly and I feel the need to hide my feeling of hurt.  
“I know, that’s why I was wondering if you would ask Emmett for me, I haven’t seen him lately” I say as I role over.  
“He’ll go, but your brave you know, he may turn up in a dress” Justin laughs.  
“Well at least he’ll turn up” I say with scorn as I sit up and start to get dressed.  
“Hey what are you doing?” Justin asks as he watches me get dressed.  
“Leaving, what does it look like?” I mutter. Justin gets off the bed and starts to undress me. He is halfway down my shirt when I grab his hands and stop him.  
“What?” He asks me as to why I stopped him.  
“I don’t do fuck buddies, especially not ones that are ashamed to take me out” I say as I grab the rest of my clothes and head for the door.  
“Brian wait” Justin calls out to me. I stop and put a piece of paper down on the bench.  
“That’s my address, can you tell Emmett to meet me there” I say as I open the door.  
“Brian it’s just a stupid Prom, why do you care if I am there?” Justin asks but I ignore his question and slide the door shut behind me.

***  
Night Of Brian’s Senior Prom  
I watch as my dad straightens my tie for me and my mom is happy cooking in the kitchen.  
“Oh for heavens sake Alec, leave him alone, he looks gorgeous” My mom calls over to my dad.  
“I know, I know” He brushed her comment off “Now remember, if you can’t remember someone or if you want to go home at anytime tonight you just call me and I’ll come get you ok” My dad whispers to me and I nod.  
“I know dad, I’ll be fine” He hugs me and I remember now just how much this man loves me and cares for me. We are interrupted by a knock at the door.  
“Oh I wonder who it is” My mom jokes.  
“I’ll get it” I say as I walk over to the door and open it. Emmett looks pretty hot tonight and nowhere near as flamboyant as usual. I pull him inside and into the lounge room. “Emmett these are my parents”.  
“Actually my name is Justin, but it is nice to meet you both” Justin smiles. I stand in shock, why is Justin here, what changed his mind.  
“It’s nice to meet you Justin” My mom says as she shakes his hand.  
“Can I ask how old you are Justin?” My dad asks questionably.  
“I’m Twenty Four” Justin replies.  
“Aren’t you a little old to be going out with my son?”  
“Dad” I groan.  
“I’m serious, that’s six years difference” My dad complains.  
“Alec don’t be ridicules, six years is nothing” My mom speaks up “Now you boys run along, if you haven’t forgotten there is a Senior Prom to attend” My mom says as she hears a horn from the Limo outside.  
“Thanks mom” I say as I kiss both my parents goodbye and head out the door with Justin. I haven’t thanked him yet so I stop him just before we get to the limo.  
“What?” He smiles and I kiss him passionately.  
“Thank you” I whisper.  
“I kinda figured that you’re the exception to the rule, to all of them” He whispers as he kisses me tenderly.  
“Hey love birds hurry up” Michael call from inside the limo.  
“Come on” Say as we walk to the limo.

***  
It’s been a long night and I have been having the best time. Justin keeps whispering sexy things in my ear; one more and I think I’m going to have to drop my pants right here. The night moves slowly and then comes the announcement of Prom King and Queen. I hear them announce Lindsay as Prom Queen and I am so happy for her, she deserves it.  
“Now for North Allegheny Prom King, and it is Brian Kinney” The teacher announces and I sit in shock. Michael keeps telling me to get up. I finally snap out of it and head up to the stage.  
“How about a dance, the fairy and the dyke” A voice calls out from the crowd.  
“It’s time for the King and Queens first official dance together” The teacher said as she started the music. I lead Lindsay down to the dance floor and we start a slow dance. This is just where I didn’t want to be tonight, with people all around me watching me. People start dancing around us and I start to get nervous as everyone closes in.  
“Bri are you ok?” Lindsay asks me. I have my eyes closed and I am gripping her tightly.  
“I don’t want to dance anymore” I whisper.  
“It’s ok, look they are only people from our school, and no one will hurt you?” Lindsay says to comfort me, but the more I look at all the faces the more frantic I get, I start to cry because for some reason I am so scared.  
“May I have this dance” A familiar voice asks.  
“Justin” I cringe hoping that it isn’t anyone else. He wraps his arm around me and Lindsay dances with her date.  
“Are you ok?” He asks me softly.  
“I am when I am with you” I say as I hug him tightly.  
“Hold that thought” Justin walks over to the DJ and says something to him. Justin walks back over to me, slightly pushing the crowd aside as he does so. Then the song comes on, ‘Something Stupid’. Justin twirls me around the dance floor and dances with me in such a way that I completely forget about everyone else in the room. As the song is coming to an end Justin dips me and sings the words to me.  
“Then I go and spoil it all,  
By saying something stupid,  
Like I love you” Kisses me in front of everyone. There is a load roar in the room with a lot of whistles and clapping for our performance, but I can’t hear them, all I hear is the words ‘I love you’.


	6. The Exception To The Rules

  
Author's notes: This Chapter reviels what Brian has been hiding from Justin!  


* * *

After the Prom Justin and I go to the after party at Lindsay’s house. Ben and Michael decided to go to the beach. I can tell Justin is uncomfortable around all the drunken teens, but so I am. Justin goes to get us some drinks and I stand in a room of people that I don’t recognise. I stand against the wall and wait for Justin to come back and hope he won’t be much longer. Someone taps me on the shoulder; I look at them and wait for them to say something.  
“What are you doing here, this is a straight party, no queers” The guy says as he pushes me.  
“If you haven’t heard Lindsay is gay and this is her fucking party, so maybe you should fuck off” I hiss at the man.  
“Well look at this, the little scared Kinney boy finally stands up for himself” The guy jokes and I see all of his friend start to laugh.  
“Fuck off Blake” I try to stand my ground but I grow more nervous.  
“What’s wrong Brian has your boyfriend left you alone and know you’re scared” Blake mocks me.  
“Why don’t you just admit it Blake, everyone already knows you’re a fag” I joke because even though he hides it well, before I went to New York I let Black suck me off and the only reason he picks on me now is because I didn’t want to be with him when I got back.  
“I am not a fucking fagot” He hisses as he pins me up against the wall.  
“Then why did you suck my cock?” I ask with a smirk, but now I can see the rage he has as his secret has come out.  
“I never fucking sucked your cock” Blake yells at me and starts to punch me, the first in the stomach then one to the face. I feel him getting pulled off me.  
“Don’t you fucking touch him” Justin yells as he punches Blake.  
“Justin..” I whisper.  
“Come on Bri, I’ll take you home” Justin says to me as he helps me up. He calls a cab and we wait down the road for it to pick us up.  
“I hate him” I mutter under my breath.  
“You’ll be ok, we should take you to the hospital” Justin says as he gently rubs my face.  
“No take me home, I wanna go home with you” I say as I snuggle into Justin’s embrace.  
“Ok” Justin whispers and kisses me on the forehead then tells the driver where to take us.

***  
I sit on the couch at Justin’s apartment with a bag of frozen peas on my head.  
“How does your head feel?” Justin asks as he sits down next to me with a beer in his hand.  
“It feels ok” I sigh as I take the peas off my head and place them on the table.  
“Well I guess no Prom goes flawlessly” Justin smiles at me and I smile back.  
“What?” I ask as I know there is something on his mind.  
“Tonight when I came to pick you up you didn’t recognise me” I look down at my lap, I didn’t want this moment to come. “Brian I think I am falling for you, I mean I want to be with you and that is something no one else makes me feel, but I need to know” Justin says as he lifts up my chin to look at him. I see his beautiful blue eyes and I feel sadness knowing that I will not be able to remember them tomorrow.  
“I’m sorry Justin, but I can’t ask you love me like this” I say as I get up off the couch and run to the door. I know Justin is running after me but I just keep running home, even when Justin is in the Jeep calling me I seem to be able to outrun him. I get to my front door and run inside not stopping to close the door. I run to the top of the stairs and hide.  
“Brian” I hear my mother say confused.  
“What did you do to Brian?” I hear my dad accusing someone and I peak through the railing to see what is happening.  
“I didn’t do anything, I just asked him a question about why he didn’t remember me, I need to talk to him” Justin insists.  
“Oh no, I want you out of this house, if it was enough to make my son run in crying I don’t want you here” My dad says sternly.  
“Wait, did he tell you about his condition?” My mother asks.  
“What condition?” Justin asks.  
“Alec honey, can you please go put the kettle on, Justin and I need to have a little talk” My mother hints for my father to leave them alone. I fear what Justin’s reaction will be.  
“Mrs Kinney, what’s wrong with Brian?” Justin seems concerned.  
“He’s blind Justin” She whispers.  
“Brian’s not blind, I mean he walks around fine, he can see all kinds of things” Justin says confused.  
“There are different types of blindness Justin. Brian has something called Prosopagnosia or in other words Face Blindness” My mother looks at Justin and he seems just as confused as before.  
“So what exactly does that mean?” Justin asks.  
“After the accident Brian damaged a part of his brain, this part is specifically used for remembering faces, in doing so he became incapable of recognizing faces” She explains.  
“So Brian can’t see my face?” Justin says.  
“No a person with perfect vision can have Prosopagnosia, he can see you fine, but he can’t remember you by face, he remembers you by voice, usually Brian waits for the other person to say the first thing in a conversation haven’t you noticed?” She asks.  
“Yeah I have, but I guess I never though of it as a problem” Justin smiles.  
“Brian can get scared sometimes, mainly because he was raped Justin, because of his condition he doesn’t know who the man was that did it and he is plagued by the idea that the man will come back someday and hurt him again. That’s also the reason he doesn’t usually let people touch him” She says as she looks at Justin. “I’ve heard of you before, from Debbie, she calls you the asshole, but she says she used to call you Sunshine. She also told me that you’re the Fuck and Leave kind of guy”.  
“When I met Brian, he hated me and I hated him, then he kinda grew on me and suddenly I couldn’t stay away from him, I mean he made me want to be with him, not just sex, but to be there for him. It’s like he enchanted me or something, but I hate to think of letting him go” Justin’s words are like music to my ears and now I know that I well and truly am the exception to all the rules.  
“I think you have fallen for my son, he can have that effect on people” My mother smiles and hugs Justin tightly. “You be good to him, that’s all I ever ask” She takes his hand and starts leading him up the stairs. I run to my bedroom quickly and pretend I was in there all the time.  
“Brian” I hear Justin whisper as he gently pushes open my door.  
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, but…” Justin sits on the bed next to me and puts his finger over my lip to silence me.  
“I love you, I want you to remember those words every time you think of me” Justin holds me close and I fell so happy I don’t want this moment to ever change.


End file.
